On New Year’s Eve 2013-4 I made a resolution that would change my life. I decided to take the word “should” out of my vocabulary, because this would force me to find an action verb rather than a frustrating modal reflection.
Since then I have used this with my patients, with excellent feedback, from helping them to come to terms with the frustrations of living with a long-term condition to coping with a situation out of their control or forgiving themselves for something they did or didn’t do.
So, how does it work?
Well “should” is the thing that never happened. It was the thing that would probably have made a difference. The moment you replace it with need, plan, or even could or might, it becomes a possibility to be explored. It opens hope, that elusive light at the end of the tunnel or pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
This morning I was having a catch up with my beloved brother Richard, who lives on the polar opposite side of the world from me. We catch up from time to time and inevitably chew over the various challenges affecting Triangle and neuro-diverse families. And I found myself suggesting that very “should never happened” strategy and it lifted the mood. He enthused – that’s a brilliant phrase – searched it and suggested that I buy the website.
So I have! Watch this space for a website dedicated to the endless possibilities that replace the sentiments “should” and “should(n’t) have”.
I needed to create this website, and today is the day! No more “shoulds”!
Follow this feed and look out for shouldneverhappened.com